I'm Dreaming Of A Portable Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Chuck sat deftly in the dale, sipping pernicious eggnog.

He looked at the opalescent dragon hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Sarah had hung it there, just before they looked at each other terribly and then fell into each other's arms and transcended each other's earlobe.

If only I hadn't been so charismatic, Chuck thought, pouring a fecund amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Sarah might not have got so never-ending and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a triumphant tear and held his shin in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a legendary voice lifted swiftly up in song.

I'm dreaming of a portable Christmas
Just like an inanimate object being lovingly cuddled by two estranged sisters that have found common ground for the first time in 15 years.
Chuck ran to the door. It was Sarah, looking dogged all over with snow.

"I missed you idly," Sarah said. "And I wanted to transcend your earlobe again."

Chuck hugged Sarah and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Sarah said.

"I think so too," Chuck said and they transcended each other's earlobe until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted octopus left knee and lived crookedly until Chuck got drunk again.


...okay, maaaaybe it came from this, but I made it for YOUUUUU. Don't you feel special?

Okay, I'll see myself out now.


  1. Here is my drabble. It's Sarina inspired. ;-)


    The Blonde Stranger

    The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Sarah strode along the path, making for Energetic Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, she carried the Vivacious Hair, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Leg.

    A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave her warning and she drew her beautiful couch just in time to face the sweaty woman who flew at her with such grace that she was almost dazzled.

    The woman struck bodaciously, and Sarah barely raised her couch to meet the attack. They fought long and lustfully until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.

    At last, Sarah found herself forced to one knee, the woman's couch pressed to her blue stomach. "I am Carina of Energetic Castle," she said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Vivacious Hair. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you on a chair."

    But Sarah had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up her couch with a twist, overpowered Carina and pinned her to the ground. "What say you now?" Sarah said, looking down upon her.

    Carina's eyes shimmered like a sunrise that brightens the day. "I have underestimated you, Sarah. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

    Sarah's desire was enflamed. Her stomach throbbed and all her thoughts were to kiss Carina like a beaver. Sarah caressed Carina's overjoyed eyes and she responded. They came together sweetfully, and their joining was as terrible as their battle, and also much louder.

    "Ah, my sweet skirt!" Sarah groaned and kissed Carina as angrily as she could.

    "Ouch!" she yelled. "What the hell is that?"

    "Oh," Sarah said. "That's where I put the Vivacious Hair for safekeeping. Sorry."

    When they had finished their romp, they drowsed totally on the grass, forgetful of all but their illustrious love. "We will stay together forever," Carina said, and they began all over again.

    And so it was that the Wizard Leg never got the Vivacious Hair and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.

  2. Fun, here is mine.


    The Miracle Of The Rabbit

    Chuck hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it. His deep dark secret was revealed to everyone. He loathed it.

    Every December, Chuck would feel himself getting all married inside. He refused to put up a Christmas goner, he snapped at anyone possible enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.

    On December 13, Chuck had to go to the mall to buy a legal rioting. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing respectively around and so much Christmas music blaring foreseeingly, he thought his mouth would explode.

    Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a sparkling woman collecting for charity. Chuck never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

    Suddenly, the sparkling woman dropped her bells and ran under the warm blanket. There was a joyous rabbit right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the sparkling woman slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

    Chuck rushed out and temptedly pushed them both out of the way. There was a flawless bang and then everything went dark.

    When Chuck woke up, he was in a cultured room. There was a Christmas goner in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Chuck's arm hurt. A lot.

    The sparkling woman came into the room. "I'm so Eatable!" she said. "You're awake. My name is Sarah. You saved me from the truck. But your arm is broken."

    Chuck hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas goner up and his arm was broken, he felt quite fantastic, especially when he looked at Sarah.

    "Your arm must hurt hysterically," Sarah said. "I think this will help." And she verified Chuck several times.

    Now Chuck felt very fantastic indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Sarah. "I love you," he said, and kissed Sarah disastrously.

    "I love you too," said Sarah. Just then, the rabbit ran into the room and nuzzled Chuck's hand. "I brought him home with us," Sarah said.

    "We'll call him Miracle," Chuck said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

    It was the best Christmas ever.

  3. M Kudron24.1.13

    I made a Zarah one..

    The Adorable Terror Of The Snow

    It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Sarah and Zondra went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Sarah hit Zondra in her butt with a big teeny-tiny iceball. It hurt a lot, but Sarah kissed it loudly and then it was all better.

    Then they decided to make a snow man.

    "We'll make a really zealous snow man!" Sarah said.

    "Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Zondra said. "That would be more cuddly and politically correct."

    "I know," Sarah said. "We can make a snow Alpaca. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."

    So they rolled the snow up eagerly and made a sticky snow Alpaca. Sarah put on a ranch for the neck. The Alpaca was almost as big as Zondra.

    "It looks fluffy," Sarah said patiently. "But it seems like it's missing something."

    "Here," Zondra said and held up a mysterious Barn. "I found this in the yard." She put the Barn onto the Alpaca's head.

    It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the Alpaca, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl Love is an alchemist that can transmute poison into food - and a spaniel that prefers even punishment from one hand to caresses from anothe.

    Zondra screamed fast and ran but the snow Alpaca chased her until she tripped over a tree root. Then the snow Alpaca kissed her abroad.

    "Nobody does that to my little Sparse Desk," Sarah screamed. She grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow Alpaca through the leg. It fell down and Sarah kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.

    "You saved me!" Zondra said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.

    The Barn lay in the yard until a thundering child picked it up and took it home.


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