mxpw vs. Frea - Chuck vs. the Leftovers

Chuck vs. the Leftovers
Season 4, Episode 10, original air-date November 29, 2010

Things are turned upside-down the day after Thanksgiving when Chuck's mother drops by...along with Alexei Volkoff. Morgan must deal with Jeff and Lester during the Black Friday sale at the Buy More.

There are puppies and rainbows after the break, and our review. A coincidence?


Instant Reaction: Chuck vs the Leftovers

Tweet: #SarahConnorBitches #Chuck410

Addendum: Pretty sure any episode that lacks Linda Hamilton is an episode wasted.

Tweet: #JamesBondBitches #Chuck410

Addendum: Pretty sure any episode that lacks Timothy Dalton is an episode wasted. Wait. Let me rethink that, becuase last week didn't have either of them. Let's rephrase: Any episode that lacks Linda Hamilton and/or Timothy Dalton is an episode wasted, provided that said episode doesn't include oodles of SWP. Can we agree with that?

Want more idolizing of Linda Hamilton and Timothy Dalton? Just hit the jump.


A Special Thanksgiving Day Message*



*This is assuming you're, you know, in the States. If not, have a wonderful Thursday and we'll be back on Saturday with your regularly scheduled Inanity.


4x09 - Phase Three Icons!

I was feeling productive this week, and Monday's episode was okay. Nothing iconic or anything.

Hee, you see what I did there? Yep, I lied. Monday's episode? Totally iconic. Which is why there are 26 icons after the break. They're up for grabs, of course, and if you take any, just let me know in the comments! Thanks to ChuckTV for providing such awesome screengrabs! If Strahotski gets their screengrabs up, I may add more Sarah numbers.

Happy Thanksgiving to those of you in the States! To everybody else, uh, as you were?




Frea vs. mxpw - Chuck vs. Phase Three

 Chuck vs. Phase Three
Season 4, Episode 9, air-date November 22, 2010

While hiding out in Southeast Asia from an international agent determined to locate the Intersect, Sarah goes on a rogue mission. Ellie and Awesome work to uncover a family secret.

Warning: Prolonged exposure to Sarah Walker's badassery can cause brain melting. If you begin to feel nauseated, dizzy, light-headed, or forget where you are, please consult a doctor right away. But not Captain Awesome, he's done enough.


Instant Reaction: Chuck vs Phase Three

Tweet: I'd be more excited about #Chuck409 if my heat worked. #Truth

Addendum: My heat doesn't work. This is seriously distressing now that it is almost below zero here. At least my apartment is well insulated. BUT SEMI-PRO TWEETERS MUST PERSERVERE>

Tweet: #SaranConnerBitches #Chuck409

Addendum: Frea is right (isn't she always?). Every episode of Chuck this season needs to start with a tip of the TwitterCap to Linda Hamilton. By the way, the TwitterCap is kind of like the Winged Flying Hat in Super Mario Brothers, only it's on the Internet and doesn't actually make you fly. So, um, it's not really like that hat at all. They're both red? They both have wings vaguely involved?

Hey, I'm going to try to continue being funny after the jump!

How To Recognize Your Sarah

With tonight's episode of Chuck promising what looks like the most badass version of Sarah Walker of all time, mxpw and I thought we would help you out. Working together, we've compiled a list of the Sarah Walkers you might see in your everyday lives and we've compared them to two things: canon Sarah, or the Sarah seen on the show, and the most badass Sarah we know...

The Adorable Psycho.

This list is by no means exhaustive; we are a fandom of many great Sarahs. We've simply picked a few of the more popular ones for our guide: How to Recognize Your Sarah.

Warning: Does contain up to date write-ups on various stories in the section; if you don't want to be spoiled on something you haven't read, skip to the next Sarah. :)

The Screenwriter's Blog #1

Hello, my little weasels. It’s Daddy Liam here. I know, I’m sorry. I’m a day late on this blog. My sincerest apologies. I typically spend my Sunday relaxing and being all magnificent and awesome. But no need to fear. For Daddy’s home and he’s brought a surprise.

What is that surprise, you may ask? Great question random reader of the Castle Inanity blog. This surprise is my very first article where I discuss the art of screenplay writing! I’ll pause a moment to allow you all to get the raucous applause out of your system.


Good. Now I’m sure many of you are wondering, “Daddy Liam, why haven’t you been writing on your Awesome Award winning fic Chuck Versus the Road to Innocence?” I have several pat answers, ranging from the obscene (Because your mom won’t leave me alone long enough to write it.) to the flippant (Because the fic bores the hell out of me.) But truth of the matter is, for quite a while now, a new form of writing has captured my interest. Screenwriting.


Sneak Preview: Chapter 44

I wish I had a really cool graphic for the next chapter of What Fates Impose like I usually do, but I'm on my laptop (which is coming up on four years old and is running Vista off of 1 gb of memory; computer nerds may now wince in sympathy), so... yeah.

But hey!  A preview of Chapter 44.  My second preview on Chapter 44, if you'll believe it.  (Where's the first?  Dig in the archives.  I didn't tag it as 44, but I did share a brief scene since I wrote the first scene of 44 something like 4 months ago)!

It's after the break!  Hope you enjoy!




So those of you who aren't on Twitter probably don't know about this yet, but yesterday, my step-grandpa passed away.  I wasn't terribly close to him.  Well, actually, that's not true. When I was little and still living in that area, I adored him, but it's been many years since.  Not sure what's going to be happening in the near future, but given that I'm house-sitting for another family in the area, my schedule probably won't be disrupted too much.  After that, however, I'm not sure.  I may be headed to my grandmother's house to help her out with some things until classes start next semester.

At any rate, it means taking the posting date off on the progress bar to the left since I no longer know when Chapter 44 will be dropping.  If it was finished, I'd have no problem just popping it up on ff.net today and forgetting about Fates for as long as I need to, but it's not finished yet, so...

Also, in other news, I signed up for college classes yesterday.  I'm taking a full load of classes in the spring and then a half-load in the summer and fall.  Before those start, however, I've enlisted in the Who Are You challenge and already have my holiday-themed story planned, as well as a Christmas gift for you guys, and the next three chapters of Fortune Favors Fools

December is going to be a busy month for me, I can already tell.

If anybody wants to sign up for the challenge, I know they're still taking entries.  C'mon, join the crazies like me, Crystal, mxpw, Justin, and many of our esteemed section.  You know you want to.  And just for the record, my WAY challenge entry won't be in the Fatesverse, as that would be a dead giveaway and I intend to make people work to recognize me.  But I give my fellow CIAs permission to write in the Fatesverse, should they choose.

And to those that are curious about the progress bar activity, some of them...aren't actual stories, sorry.  At least, I don't think I ever had plans to write a rock opera for mxpw, as much as he wishes that were the case.  It's just impossible to rhyme with "kumquat," you know.

A couple of great writing posts from mxpw and Justin coming out this week because I nagged them.  Don't forget to show them some love.

See you when I see you,



Reader Beware: Justin's got a brand new blog!

Okay, my little ferrets, this is Daddy Liam, here to tell you how it is. Few days ago, Uncle Maximus gave me a talkin’ to. Either I get off my lazy ass and contribute something or get shipped off to blog-Siberia along with Petey, aka Chuckster3185. For those who don’t recall Petey, he was an original member of the Castle Inanity blog before he displeased Mistress Frea. Something about not showing the appropriate amount of due deference or whatever. I’m too pretty to worry myself over management decisions.

In all seriousness, what we’re talking about are the first stages of a Castle Inanity “rebranding”, so to speak. Or so I’m told, anyway. Uncle Maxy and Aunt Frea are my bosses and tell me only what I need to know. And again, too pretty to worry about management stuff. Anywho, it did make me realize there really isn’t an excuse for me to not contribute more. So, I’m planning to do it.

mxpw vs. Frea - Chuck vs. the Fear of Death

Chuck vs. the Fear of Death
Season 4, Episode 8, air-date November 15, 2010

Summary: In order to repair his status as an agent and his relationship with Sarah, Chuck agrees to go on a dangerous mission with an eccentric partner. Morgan and Casey must stop Jeff and Lester from knowing the true identity of Greta at the store.

So you know how sometimes Frea is the optimist and mxpw is the pessimist and they're at each other's throats because they don't agree on a single thing?

Er, you're not going to find that with this episode review.


Instant Reaction: Chuck vs the Fear of Death

Tweet: I should be getting paid for this. I'm looking at you @JoshSchwartz76. #Chuck408 #AllIDoIsWin

Addendum: What follows, dear people, is a lesson in vanity. When you get this cocky, what happens? Well, turns out you forget exactly how many hits Olivia Newton-John had and find yourself unable to think up clever replies to people's @ tweets. I am not yet a professional Tweeter, you guys. But I'm close. SO CLOSE.

Tweet: "You're about to meet a lot of scientists" is never something you want said to you. Ever. #Ever #Chuck408

Addendum: Unless you're a scientist I guess?

More of teh funny after the break. #IntentionalMispellingofThe

Aisle of Terror Icons

Stahotski got the screen-grabs from the latest two episodes up, I made a few icons while I was trying to think of what to write next!

Chuck,Castle Inanity,Aisle of Terror,Sarah Chuck,Castle Inanity,Aisle of Terror,Sarah Chuck,Castle Inanity,Aisle of Terror,Sarah

Chuck,Castle Inanity,Aisle of Terror,Sarah Chuck,Castle Inanity,Aisle of Terror,Sarah Chuck,Castle Inanity,Aisle of Terror,Sarah

You know the deal, let me know if you took one.




Frea's Guide to Frakking Up Sarah Walker

So this week, I got a couple of reviews this week that made me laugh. In fact, TaurgaFour outright accused me of being a glutton for punishment, which I can’t deny. I’ve said on the blog a time or two that I have regretted writing To Resist Both Wind and Tide not because I am ashamed of the writing (though the second chapter needs some work), but because people love my Sarah perspective to the point of requesting it…quite a lot. Some would have me stop writing Fates in Chuck’s perspective entirely, I believe.

And yet, here I am, penning Fortune Favors Fools, the third in the Sarah Walker perspective series. And I’ll even admit it outright: writing from inside Sarah Walker’s head is just as much fun, if not more, than from Chuck’s*. There, that wasn’t at all like throwing kerosene onto a forest fire. Ooh, like at the shiny lights.

So I was talking to mxpw, and it was mentioned that I should write a blog post about how to write Sarah, since she’s a character a lot of people feel that I write well.  It sounded like a good idea, and hey, I'm vain, so I scribbled down a few rules based on tricks I had used while bringing Fates Sarah from my imagination, where she hates me, to the screen where you read her.

Note:  I made most of these rules up in the very same chat, and they’re meant to be taken a little tongue in cheek, so get out those grains of salt, please!


Video Ideas...

So this probably won't be happening anytime soon, since I'm still very busy with school, but my video editing bug is starting to eat away at me again. At first I thought I'd try my hand at another Sarah Walker-esque video—a Sexy Bitch: Part Two, if you will—but decided to hold off on that for a bit longer, maybe until the fourth season is over and I've got more footage to work with. (Cue groans of complaint from the majority of the male population, lead by mxpw.)

Anyways, I just came across this song on Youtube:

I am now seriously considering making a completely over-the-top Chuck/TeamB promo using this song. Thoughts? Other song suggestions? I'm open to any opinions at this point, since I have about a month or so to mull things over before Winter Break comes along. Would love to hear anything you guys have to say. :)


Adventures With Crystal: ChuckFest 2

I know this is nearly a week late, but college likes to suck the life out of me. I had a 15-page short story for my Fiction Writing class due the day I came back from L.A. on Monday, and the rest of the week consisted of me trying to catch up with a bunch of schoolwork and whatnot. BUT...today is Friday, I've finished my last class for the week, and I'm finally free to give my full report of the awesomeness that was ChuckFest. Buckle up and enjoy the ride, people, because this is probably going to be one long and extremely detailed post—complete with pictures! (Unfortunately, no videos, as we weren't allowed to record any footage of the event.)


Roundup: Eaten by Cockroaches

So this week's roundup has two writing articles and one article on how to be a writer.  Wait a second, that doesn't make sense.  Well, being a writer is not just about writing, even though the simplest and first rule is: Write.  And then write some more.  As a writer, if you want to improve, one way to do so is to get feedback, which means talking to other writers, getting critiques, and revision, revision, revision.  I'm going to save that article for last, since it's rather polarizing.

Also, there's an oldie but a goodie in this week's Roundup. Read on to see what awaits!


Free at Last, Free at Last, Thank AP Almighty....

Frea here. So I'm out of the closet, and I was not beaten to death with my keyboard. I probably wouldn't have survived the ordeal except that I keep the back-up Dr. Pepper in the same closet. Not gonna lie: it was touch and go for awhile until I remembered that. And then I had to wait for the marathon plowin' session to end before AP would negotiate terms for my release.

BUT, dear readers, I am proud to say that I am now out of the closet because I promised to pay a lot closer attention to the Adorable Psycho's sex life.

And trust me, I know exactly how that sounds.

But hey, to celebrate my release, how's about a taste of what's to come next week, hmm?


The Most Adorable Coup D'Etat EVER

Hey, Bitches!

Sarah Walker here. Yes, THE Sarah Walker.

This Frea bitch let me take over her blog. Well, okay, my new honesty policy with the love of my life and the Provider of the Plowing means I have to tell the truth: I kidnapped Frea O’Freaking Scanlin and shoved her in a closet, took over her blog, and decorated it with pictures of yours truly. I forgot to duck tape the bitch’s mouth shut, though, so I can still hear her rendition of every single hit song from the first season of Glee. Appropriate and yet, I don’t really want to let her loose. She’s lucky to be alive, that brunette skank.

Hey, shut up in there! I swear, if you start singing anymore Lady Gaga, I'm going to take this keyboard and beat you with it!  And don't think I haven't missed the irony in beating you to death with the same tool you're using to write Fates!

Do you see what I have to put up with just so that I can grace you with my presence? Oh, and believe me, you have no idea how lucky you are. I could be getting plowed right now, and yet here I am, informing you all about why I'm here. I bet there's quite the number of brunette bitches out there among you, too.

It's a new thing I'm trying. Being understanding, I mean. Chuck tells me to picture us having sex in my head whenever I get the urge to kill and it's sort of working but all I end up doing is daydreaming about sex all day and where was I? Oh right, why I'm here. Because it's my birthday and I wanted to celebrate with you, my adoring fans.

Yeah, that's right.  Today, I am one freaking year old!  And in that time, I have killed approximately 87.5 skanks (one was an accident, but she was still a brunette, so it counts for half).  And you know why, bitches?  Because they were sniffing after my man.  That will teach the Ladies' Auxiliary of Burbank to have computer problems.  Prissy skanks were fun to kill in the end.  They had more fight in them than you'd expect from an Auxiliary League, but they had to go.  They were eying my man!  Do people just not get the memo?  I swear I had Casey send it out to everybody, and if the NSA is slacking again, I swear I'm going to take my knife and shove it right up his--

What?  Are you sure?  Damn it!  How do you--fiiiiine.  Frea says I've already done that and it would be uncreative to kill the same way twice.  I'll think of another fitting death for Sir Grunts A Lot.  What the hell? Now she's telling me that I need to hurry up. I'm going to kill her!

Sarah? Sarah, where are you?

Just a second, Chuck! I'm just about to commit some dramatic irony. You'll never abuse your minions ever again, Frea.

What's that, Chuck? You want to plow me now? Oh fine, I guess the bludgeoning will have to wait. Make no mistake, though, this blog is now mine.

I hope you all enjoy what I've done to the place. And you better watch out. If I find out any of you are looking at my Chuck, I'll find you. Trust me, I've done it before.

Later, bitches! It's plowing time!



Early November Necessities

Right around this time of year, my mother sends an email to all of her children, those wily O'Scanlins with hearts of gold and souls of mischief, and requests our Christmas wish lists so that she doesn't have to spend November and December remembering which of us likes anime and which of us likes good stuff.  Since Christmas is an awesome holiday--I'm so great people give me stuff on a day to day basis, but on Christmas they have to, it's the law--I decided to be benevolent and help my mother out this year.  Here is the list I emailed to her:

1) Orange Chucks, blue laces, women's, low-top, size [REDACTED]
2) Western Digital Passport Drive, 500 gb, red to match my eyes
3) Jayne hat, hand-crafted
4) Nerd Shirt from thenerdmachine.com
5) Bic mechanical pencils
6) The head of my archnemesis on a stick
7) Sharpies
8) Season 2 of Dollhouse

You'll notice that I did not include Dr. Pepper on this list, as Dr. Pepper is not a gift, it is the lifeblood from which all creativity springs and therefore I shouldn't have to wait until Christmas to receive it.

Maximus would like everybody to know that he has seen this list and can vouch for its authenticity.

Is there anything I am missing from this list, dear readers?  Best suggestion might get a sneak peek of Chapter 43 of Fates!



Even though the list is real (yes, even numbers 6-8), I'm totally joking here.  I promise you, I am nowhere near as entitled as I come off, I just have fun being pompous and if I acted anywhere NEAR this entitled to the real Ma O'Scanlin, rest assured that I wouldn't be able to sit proper for a week.


Blanket Statement

So I wanted to make something clear here:

My author's note at the end of Chapter 42 did not mean we are literally tackling Chuck vs. the Best Friend. This is my fault for not being more clear. I simply meant we were going to tackle some of the same themes--simply put, Chuck doesn't want to put his best friend in danger.  Because he's Fates Chuck, he has a very pessimistic outlook and he's already been taught to expect the worst thing to happen during a mission, so having Morgan around while they're on a mission is the last thing he wants to do.

I've had people ask about Longshore, Crown Vic, and Cole Barker, so I'll make a blanket statement about that, too.

Some canon plots will still be in What Fates Impose, but only in that they make sense in my timeline.  To wit, I thought Chuck and Sarah and Casey would have been handed the Mei-Ling Cho assignment, but it's doubtful they would be at the same sushi restaurant to meet Paine's poor first victim that Ellie tried to save, ergo Chuck Vs. the Truth never happened in Fates (which means Paine might still be at large, muhaha).

A general rule of thumb is I've been treating the episode airdate as a gauge for when the episode events happened, too.  Crown Vic...has come and gone.  It happened around the beginning of December, and now we're in January, so my apologies on that.*

That being said, we're still in January, and in the first season territory.  Cole Barker, a second season character, is something like more than a year away, and who knows where the story will be by that time?  And I think it's pretty safe to say that if things keep going the way they are, Sarah's probably not even going to be interested in that British piece of...beefcake.

Sorry for the definitive statements, I just wanted to let everybody know where we stand.



* There are two exceptions to this rule.  One has already passed and was an author error, and the other is coming and will have an author's note explaining why at the time.


Hanging from a Cliff

 Man, I hate cliffhangers.

Like, I loathe them with a passion.  They make me throw up my hands and groan, and frankly, want to smash my fist into something.  How DARE they?  How dare that writer deprive me of that moment of release, of knowing what happens to my favorite character at his or her greatest moment of peril?

Aren't I just the biggest hypocrite?  I know.  It's fun.

That being said, I LOVE cliffhangers.  They make me giggle like a maniacal schoolgirl.  Perhaps it's because my formative education in dialogue and plot was "Choose Your Own Adventure" books (which I always cheated on) and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  Perhaps I'm just a sadist.  But either way, a well-done cliffhanger just makes me stop, groan, and start laughing hysterically, while usually applauding the author on his or her work.

At any rate, a long time ago, I had a reader call my cliffhanger on chapter 34 "petty," which made me feel a little disgruntled for about a minute before something shiny popped up in the corner of my vision and I wandered off to explore.  A few hours later (hey, I had a new dog, and she requires a lot of attention), I returned to the subject and thought, "Hm, WAS that a petty cliffhanger?"

Eventually I came to conclusions about why people think cliffhangers are petty and why I think some aren't, and some are, and I'll explain here.

So...what makes a cliffhanger petty?


mxpw vs. Frea - Chuck vs. the First Fight

Chuck vs. the First Fight
Season 4, Episode 7, air-date November 01, 2010

Summary: In order to avoid Sarah after their first real fight Chuck heads out on a rogue mission. Meanwhile Ellie digs into the Bartowski family history.

So after last week, in which we were exactly seven days late in getting mxpw vs. Frea to your computer screen, mx and I sat down and actually came up with an appointed time during which to write our review. Which means we're on time. For once.

Just to warn you, there IS sarcasm ahead. But is it about the episode, or are we mocking something else? You'll just have to read and find out!



Instant Reaction: Chuck vs the First Fight

Tweet 1: Fun fact: every Monday when I live-tweet #Chuck I lose five followers and gain five others. Time for that roller coaster again! #Chuck407

Addendum: This is actually true. All of my music critic buddies are all like "Quit spamming me with network TV live-tweets" and I'm all like "n00b" and then do it anyway. Actually it isn't quite so badass as that, but let me have my moment.

Tweet 2: Fun fact #2: I dressed up as #Chuck for Halloween this year. #Chuck407

Addendum: This is also true. Although I look like a chipmunk storing acorns fort the winter because my cheeks are so chubby, I did don my Nerd Herd attire and go as Chuck Bartowski for Halloween this year. It was a good Halloween.

Hit the break for more witty irreverence!

mxpw vs. Frea - Chuck vs. the Aisle of Terror

Chuck vs. the Aisle of Terror
Season 4, Episode 05, air-date October 25, 2010

Summary:  Chuck, Sarah, Casey and Morgan are sent on a mission to stop Dr. Stanley Wheelwright from releasing a toxin that causes nightmares. The mission makes Team Bartowski suspicious of where Chuck's Mom's allegiances lie. Jeff and Lester make Halloween plans for the Buy More while Ellie and Awesome get a visit from Awesome's mom.

So...there's a new Chuck on very soon, and mxpw and Frea are only getting around to posting last week's review?  What gives?  Wellllll...there are lots of things going on.  Frea is fighting a cold and the cold medicine is doing strange things to her, November has started, and Frea spent most of last week in a car driving across states like Wyoming and Nebraska.  And Sarah Walker in glasses quite frankly broke mxpw's brain.  We actually got half of the review done and then Frea literally had to go lie down before her head exploded, but we want you to know, you ARE getting the review before Chuck Vs. the First Fight...maybe.  If you click the link before then.  :) 


- Frea and mxpw