Early November Necessities

Right around this time of year, my mother sends an email to all of her children, those wily O'Scanlins with hearts of gold and souls of mischief, and requests our Christmas wish lists so that she doesn't have to spend November and December remembering which of us likes anime and which of us likes good stuff.  Since Christmas is an awesome holiday--I'm so great people give me stuff on a day to day basis, but on Christmas they have to, it's the law--I decided to be benevolent and help my mother out this year.  Here is the list I emailed to her:

1) Orange Chucks, blue laces, women's, low-top, size [REDACTED]
2) Western Digital Passport Drive, 500 gb, red to match my eyes
3) Jayne hat, hand-crafted
4) Nerd Shirt from thenerdmachine.com
5) Bic mechanical pencils
6) The head of my archnemesis on a stick
7) Sharpies
8) Season 2 of Dollhouse

You'll notice that I did not include Dr. Pepper on this list, as Dr. Pepper is not a gift, it is the lifeblood from which all creativity springs and therefore I shouldn't have to wait until Christmas to receive it.

Maximus would like everybody to know that he has seen this list and can vouch for its authenticity.

Is there anything I am missing from this list, dear readers?  Best suggestion might get a sneak peek of Chapter 43 of Fates!



Even though the list is real (yes, even numbers 6-8), I'm totally joking here.  I promise you, I am nowhere near as entitled as I come off, I just have fun being pompous and if I acted anywhere NEAR this entitled to the real Ma O'Scanlin, rest assured that I wouldn't be able to sit proper for a week.


  1. Do you think if I asked for Yvonne Strahovski this Christmas, Santa would deliver? I'd be totally willing to forego all my other gifts for that. And I'm pretty sure I don't deserve coal this year.

    I'll be keeping my fingers crossed.

  2. OldDarth7.11.10

    Despite the protestations put forth in Chuck Vs The Aisle of Terror, people with roots from elsewhere, like Europe, crave black licorice.

    Salted black licorice. Double salted is even better.

  3. Becca7.11.10

    Ok, I am from Europe, and honestly, black liquorice scares me. How can bic mechanical pencils be on the list? They are one of the necessities of life - it would be like asking your mother for loo roll.

    Tickets to the new Tron with Olivia Wilde. Duh.

  4. Tickets to Olivia Wilde. Duh.

  5. Ayefah7.11.10

    Oh, man. It's getting to that time of year when I need to huddle down in my Jewish atheist bunker and wait until mid-January, isn't it? *sigh* :P

  6. While tickets to the new Tron movie starring Olivia Wilde would be rather epic (and by rather epic I mean REALLY epic) I think you should ask for minions, kinda like the ones in the movie Despicable Me- coz their cute and hilarious. Wait! What was I thinking? You're Frea O'Scanlin, you already have minions. So, yeah. Tickets to the new Tron movie.
    P.S. Do you think you could spare a few minions who are, say, about 1 to 2 feet tall and yellow? I was thinking... a dozen? (Yes, I really am that lazy :D)

  7. Sparky7.11.10

    Jewish atheist bunker? Like Christian deist or maybe agnostic muslim ones? :P

  8. I like the way you lot all think! Tickets to the new TRON really would be epic (though Chris obviously has the best idea).

    @Becca - What the heck is loo roll?

    @Ayefah - You don't celebrate Christmahanukwanzaakah?

  9. I know it's probably killing me a little in your estimation, OD, but: yuck. Yuck yuck yuck. I hate black licorice, and salted black licorice sounds even worse. *sticks to her Twizzlers*

    I always ask for a jumbo pack of Bic pencils every year as a stocking stuffer, Becca. It's my half-year fill-up point and an O'Scanlin tradition. Oooh, TRON. Oooooh, Olivia Wilde. Every time she tweets, an angel gets its wings.

    I'm trying to imagine a Jewish atheist bunker, Ayefah, and I kind of want to visit you there. Will there be Latkes? Because if so, I'll be there at 7. :)

  10. Maximus, I'm just guessing but I'm thinking a loo roll is toilet paper. Which is a typical O'Scanlin family gift, but that's for Mischief Night, and we typically give it to the neighbors. ;)

  11. Er, D-No, I don't know where you're getting your intel, but the only minions we employ at CI are orange with green hair. Please don't tell the Office of Equal Opportunity, we'd hate for them to come bust a cap in our...uh, butts. :)

    I'll send the order of minions as soon as you paypal me. :-P

  12. Becca7.11.10

    @mxpw yup, loo roll = toilet paper. (British)

    Now I think about it, my brother once gave my other brother loo roll. It had jokes written on it though, so that's slightly more acceptable. (Not really)

  13. @Frea you stole Willy Wonka's Oompa Loompas?

  14. Stole? If by stole, you mean "liberated" or "borrowed indefinitely," sure. :) I pay them better, besides. They get to read Fates before everybody else.

  15. Ayefah7.11.10

    Sparky, don't make me give you the "Judaism isn't just a religion" lecture. :P

    And my bunker *always* has fried food, Frea. Mmm, latkes. But the important bit is that there's no Christmas. The playing of 24-hour carol stations is punishable by viewings of the Last Airbender movie.

    (I don't really hate Christmas in and of itself. But by December in the States I get tempted to yell I'M JEWISH LEAVE ME ALONE about five times a day.)

    You should ask for latkes for Christmas! They're pretty easy to make if you have a food processor. I'd ship 'em to you, but fried foods are crazy perishable. Maybe cookies are a better idea. Mmm, cookies...

    *toddles off to indulge baked goods fixation and make a pie*

  16. Sparky7.11.10

    Will the lecture be in the bunker? If so,one would seek enlightenment by your knowledge,Ayefah :)

  17. Anonymous7.11.10

    What, did you already get A Light in the Forest*?

    * I've never read it, so I'll take your word for how horrible it is


  18. See if only you had posted this sooner... Could have gotten Yvonne to autograph a blue scarf for you.could have read why couldn't I have gone to Cabo and met Chuck SW

  19. Derek, the night I get a copy of "A Light in the Forest" would be Bonfire Night at chez O'Scanlin, and no offense to Guy Fawkes, but that would be a hell of a blaze. :) That book made junior high freaking miserable. Who'd ever have guessed that I might hate a class called "Reading?"

    Hee, BDaddy, I'm trying to imagine the look on somebody's face at handing them a powder-blue scarf to sign, and it is quite amusing. Thank you for that.

    Everybody, there appears to be lessons Judaism going on in Ayefah's bunker. I'm told there's pie. If I bring the Dr. Pepper (and yes, I like all of you enough to share), who's got the Cool-Whip and who's got the Johnnie Walker?

  20. coffeegirl8.11.10

    why don't you channel the adorable psycho and ask for peter jackson's lock of hair (or anna torv's):p

  21. Anonymous8.11.10

    Why not ask for Sarah's magical suitcase? That would come in handy. Or why not ask Santa for a Mxpw fic this year? It's never too early to ask for a fifth season either.

    I am bringing the whipped cream, but not cool-whip. That's not real cream. Full discloser, I'm half French so I can be a bit of a food snob. I am also bringing black licorice for OD and me. How you people not like it is beyond me. Now, which branch of Judaism are we talking about? I like to come prepare to class.


  22. Coffeegirl, going to assume you mean Joshua Jackson since the LOTR movies were okay but nothing to obsess over for me. I'm trying to imagine the look on my mother's face after I ask for a lock of Anna Torv's hair...

    Lily, I'm glad you think my mother is so awesome that she can a) warp the space-time continuum and b) scare the executives at NBC and/or Comcast into doing what we want. I will have to attempt and see if she can measure up to these high standards you've set. Perhaps she COULD talk mxpw into writing another story...but I don't know...

    And how can you not like Cool-Whip? It's full of synthetic goodness!

  23. How bout an episode of Chuck written and directed by Joss Whedon? SMG and Marsters could play an evil spy couple.

  24. Anonymous8.11.10

    Since you're a Dr Pepper fan (as am I), have you ever had REAL Dr Pepper? Meaning Dr Pepper made with real cane sugar and NOT the artificial sweeteners that soft drink companies use today. Some places still have real Dr Pepper for sale and getting one of those (or more) might a nice Christmas treat!

  25. Sparky8.11.10

    "How bout an episode of Chuck written and directed by Joss Whedon? SMG and Marsters could play an evil spy couple."

    That would both be weird and great.As long as there aren't any overgrown teeth :P

  26. Ending of Joss Whedon episode of Chuck: Mama B, finally liberated from Volkov and coming to a Bartowski family potluck with Rice Krispie Treats, is greeted at the door by Morgan. She shoots him in the head. ~FIN~

  27. Anonymous8.11.10

    An episode of Chuck directed by Joss Whedon would be canceled(by Fox of course)before it got to the end


  28. Anonymous8.11.10

    Well, Frea I am operating under the assumption that we are talking about your birth mother. I think that if you managed to find Willy Wonka, subdue him and "borrow" *cough*kidnap*cough* the oompa loompas then your mother can at least build a TARDIS. Beside, seeing how fast you can write each chapter of Fates, while maintaining this blog and having a day job, it's obvious to me that the law of time and space do not apply to you, so why should they apply to your mom. Do not try to fool me into believing you are normal. Nothing gets past me!

    I like cool-whip. I lived most of my life on the American continent, of course I like the taste of sugary and synthetic food-looking products (to my mother's great shame). All I am saying is that the real deal taste even better and when it comes to pastries I know what I am talking about. Now, more importantly, when you say you like us enough to share your Dr Pepper, are we talking a sip or a full glass? Your ferrets want to know.


  29. So since some people are asking for me to write something for Christmas, or in deference to Ayefah, the completely non-denominational Winter Solstice, what do y'all have in mind? And no, it can't be another chapter of DA.

    I'm curious to hear your thoughts.

  30. Since it can't be a new chapter of DA...
    How about an AU of DA (Like Chuck vs. the biological clock) in which Chuck takes DA Sarah to christmas dinner. DA Sarah + Carina + Ellie + Christmas dinner= win.
    But if you do a Chuck & Sarah vs the Banality: Chuck and Sarah do the Christmas, I won't be offended

  31. Becca8.11.10

    Hmm. I think you should do something non-DA related. I mean, it should have Carina in it. But not as her role in DA, and not as Sarah's femslash partner. Though if you wanted, you could pair her up with 13.

    I think it would be super cool to do one 1984-style, kinda living in the shadows thing.

    Or something that includes OR references all 8 of the things on Frea's list, in an entirely legitimate way.

  32. I will have to let my mother know that y'all think she can build a TARDIS. My sister's car is a TARDIS. We call it the Red TARDIS, actually, and given that my sister has managed to make it between distances in a very scary amount of time, I'm halfway inclined to believe it shares other properties with a certain blue police box. When I went to London, I bought a phone box keychain and gave that to her to match her car. What, random O'Scanlin family stories day is today? Who knew?

    "Some places still have real Dr Pepper for sale and getting one of those (or more) might a nice Christmas treat!"

    Er, real Doctor Pepper tastes like licorice. It's gross. :)

    Speaking of random family O'Scanlin stories, here's a Joss Whedon tale (this actually happened):

    Me (last season): So Joss Whedon is directing the next episode of Glee.
    My mom: Great. So Rachel Berry gets shot in the head?

    And Derek, yeah, Fox would cancel that episode, but you can guarantee that from the moment the cancellation notice is issued on, that episode is going to be some of the best TV ever written.

    I'm down with mxpw writing a story that incorporates my entire Christmas wish list. Bonus points if there are dragons, Hiccup and Astrid, ninjas, the Declaration of Independence, and the Castle Slide. That would be AWESOME.

  33. Ayefah8.11.10

    Oh man, all this talk of artificial flavoring goodness has me craving Cheetos. (I'm not much for Cool Whip, but the salty end of the chemical flavoring spectrum? Yum.)

    I never heard of this "Light in the Forest" book before today, but reading the 1-star reviews for it on Amazon is a mildly amusing way to spend five minutes. Heh.

    But speaking of things we'd actually want to read, I think that any and all stories involving ninjas travelling down the Castle Slide while reciting the Declaration of Independence would be inherently awesome. Or at least...compelling, in a WHAT IS THIS?! kind of way. "Team Chuck battles constitutional textualist ninjas sent by Antonin Scalia" certainly does have a ring to it.

    But really, the best part of a possible "Frea's Christmas Wish List" fic is the distinct chance of getting Shaw's head on a stick.

  34. Sparky9.11.10

    Antonin Scalia?

    Hm,I'm assuming Casey will have a hard time choosing sides.

  35. Ayefah9.11.10

    Well, what kind of self-respecting ninja would follow Clarence Thomas?

  36. Sparky9.11.10

    Fair point,Ayefah.

    Btw,poor shaw. The dude got to learn Sarah's real name and kiss her*. For those transgressions, he learned that he lost his- undercover for cia against ring- wife to cia red test,liked the girl who shot her,got shot in the chest,got outed as a traitor,was beaten by Sarah twice.And finally got his ass kicked by Chuck.

    If he wasn't the one who Sarah used as a getaway card and if he hadn't shot Chuck's father,i'd feel sorry for him :)

    *If they had gotten more serious,the writers would probably find more ways to beat him down :)

    Anyway,Shaw's head on stick? Sounds good :P

  37. Eh, I feel sorrier for my kitchen table. I bumped into it on a midnight Dr. Pepper run last night.

  38. Sparky9.11.10

    "Eh, I feel sorrier for my kitchen table. I bumped into it on a midnight Dr. Pepper run last night."

    LOL.So the kitchen table was wooden?

  39. Ayefah9.11.10

    So the kitchen table was wooden?


    Shaw's real trangression (aside from being a creepy-ass control freak asshole) was, you know, the whole joining-the-Ring thing. He was lucky he only got beaten up a bit - he could have been blown up if Chuck hadn't saved his ungrateful ass.

    As for his sad backstory? *shrug* He can get in line. If Chuck and Ellie stayed awesome after double parental abandonment, Shaw could have gotten over his manpain. But that's why he was a villain, I suppose. :)

    If the writers really wanted to cause Shaw more pain, they would have revealed that Eve was actually a Ring traitor who was using him and Sarah's red test wasn't pointless.


Please remember to be courteous to all other Castle Inanity commenters.