It only really struck me yesterday. Not sure why. Even I had noticed how events were moving in the direction. The lack of inspiration to write fanfic. Not keeping up with spoilers. Slowly rising dissatisfaction with the show. But for whatever reason, the idea only fully coalesced in my head yesterday.
My Chuck Fandom died.
Yeah...I'm not a die hard Chuck fan anymore. Hell, I'm not even a dedicated or even regular Chuck fan anymore. I'm just a Chuck acquaintance. My subconscious has told Chuck "I like you, we had some good times, but we're just not working out anymore. Let's just be friends."
Chuck is my latest television ex-girlfriend.
Which, you know, is okay because I have Doctor Who now and it does things for me that, frankly, Chuck wouldn't do. And wow...I need to stop this metaphor before I get into trouble with Mistress Frea.
I'm not sure why yesterday was special. It kinda happened after I realized I still hadn't gotten around to watching the February 21st episode. And then it occurred to me "Wow. Not only did I miss one episode, I've missed TWO episodes now. And I'm in no rush to watch them."
Some of it's understandable. Anyone who knows me knows I wasn't a huge Season Three fan. So naturally my anticipation for Season Four wasn't tremendously high. Plus, with my work schedule, quite often I'm not even awake at 7pm CST. Or, you know, watching U of Illinois or Missouri State basketball (Go Bears! MVC Champs, baby!).
It kinda startles me at the decline and how rapid it was. I was a fan from the beginning. And it was during the hiatus after the first season that I really plunged into the fandom, writing stories such as Unexpected and generally immersing myself in the show. I still don't know if I've ever been more psyched for a season premiere than I was for Chuck Season Two. And during that season, my fandom was at red hot levels.
And then it wasn't.
My first fandom was The X-Files. For a long time, I was OBSESSED with the show. And while at the end it wasn't as strong, I hung in there until the end and found the conclusion of the show bittersweet and heartbreaking. My first fandom, over. My first love gone. I've never really been able to go back and enjoy the memory.
Then came Buffy and Angel. A new fandom, a new obsession. I rode those shows until the end and beyond, even reading the Season Eight/Season Six comics. Hell, I'll still go back and have Buffy/Angel marathons. My first amicable ending. I can still go back and love these shows.
But Chuck...I might talk to it if we come across each other in the supermarket or coffeeshop. Awkward as it might be to talk to, it'd be stranger not to. After all, we were together over three years. There are good memories there, even if I think it got a little flaky at the end.
Wow. I cannot get away from that metaphor.
Okay, I'm not saying I'm done with Chuck. I'll eventually go back and watch these two episodes. If for no other reason than Lauren Cohan. That should be an indicator, too. I mean, the girl is hot, brunette, and British. She's practically my dream girl and I'm still not tuning in? But like I said, I'll still tune in, but there's no rush. I like what Chuck's given me. The schlocky 80s fun, the friends I've made in the fandom, the Yvonne Strahovski gratuitous bikini and lingerie shots (Yes, Uncle Max, you know I love her, too. And she IS a fairly good actress, for all the ribbing I give you.).
So, Chuck, good luck to you. I'll be pulling for you simply because I know you still make others happy. Best of luck on getting a Season Five. Hopefully we can get together on occasion. Until then, I'm gonna head over to Outpost Gallifrey and see if they've announced titles for the DW premiere yet. And, you know, watch video of Karen Gillan dressed as a pirate. Again.
Hugs, Kisses, and Cyanide,