Brain Lint The First

Hey, all! Frea here, coming to you TWICE in two days. Before you fall over from shock however, or reach for that paper bag to breathe into, I'm just here doing some introductions. Firstly, we've got some new faces filling the blog out while I get ready for Nanowrimo this year, awesome people like the wonderful BDaddyDL and Shoe. (it's really hard not to go a step farther and just call her Chuck)

Today's special guest columnist is one of my favorite people in the fandom. It's her fault Top Gear now plays for at least two hours a day in chez Scan, and that I now regard librarians suspiciously and await the throwing stars at any moment. Seriously, if you haven't gone over to ff.net and followed her wonderful works-in-progress, Ninja Librarian 2 and Chuck vs. the Sound of Music, your days are 113% less awesome.

And today, we've got a real treat, as quistie64 has put her thoughts to paper and handed that paper over to Castle Inanity. Muhahahahahahahah—I mean, please read after the break. :)

Hi, I’m Quistie (Hi, Quistie!). I have been successfully assimilated into the collective here at CI. I’ve gotten used to the constant buzzing in my head, but the cybernetic implants get itchy after awhile.

Anyway, I’ll be blogging from time to time about Chuck stuff. Not knowing what exactly to start with, I decided to write about something that has bothered me all summer (I know, I need to get out more).

Before I start, you must know that I am a person who pays attention to minor details. (My beta just started laughing at that. Hush, you!) But the big stuff, not so much. (There’s a reason I got a D on that paper on Hamlet when I was in high school. Ironically, the teacher’s name was Mr. Walker. But I digress.) The writers of a TV show want to have me suspend my disbeliefs and tell me that it’s possible to upload a computer into someone’s brain? Okay. They’re telling me that there are cabals of evil-doers roaming the country, trying to take over the government? I’m there. They’ve got a plot hole big enough to drive a truck through? I probably won’t even notice. But do something ordinary and not pay attention to the details? That bugs me.

All this leads me to my question: What happened to the reception? You know, Chuck and Sarah’s wedding reception. At the end of “Chuck vs. the Cliffhanger,” we all watched as Chuck and Sarah got married inside a lovely little church in Pasadena. We see the joyous scene where they exit the church and the touching video montage interspersed throughout, rice being thrown (which I haven’t seen in years) and hugs good-bye to Ellie and Awesome. The happy couple climbs into the limo and Chuck says, “To the airport, my good man.” (This bothers me, too. We’ll get back to that.)

We know from the sign outside the church that their wedding was at 4 pm. Weddings take no more than forty-five minutes, right? It is still obviously afternoon when they leave the church which makes it look like they got in the limo right after the ceremony.

What about the reception? Didn’t they pay big bucks to the fake wedding planner for a wedding and reception? I could see where they wouldn’t have a reception once Daphne Peralta (Evil Wedding Planner) ripped them off. But Sarah’s dad comes to her rescue and leaves her rolls of hundred dollar bills in her piggy bank, and says in his note to her, “It should more than cover the cost of your wedding to the Schnook.” So we are given to believe that they will be able to have everything they wanted regarding the wedding and reception, as if Evil Wedding Planner never scammed them.

We, therefore, are left with two options:

1. They decided to skip the reception altogether and buy a vacation condo in Boca. I think this is a non-starter since I’ve never been to a wedding that hasn’t had some kind of reception. So no reception at all is right out.

2. They had the reception at the church. This, though, has a couple of problems:

- Couples rarely have church receptions anymore since they usually only include finger sandwiches, cake and punch. You don’t need wads of hundreds for that. So unless Chuck and Sarah got married in 1957, I don’t see it.

- They had the reception at the church catered. This is a possibility. But why not just have it at a place where they are set up for receptions? This also gets us back to the question of “Did the reception last an hour since it’s still daylight when they leave the church?” I don’t know about you, but I think it would be dark by the time they’re leaving the reception.

- Many churches don’t allow alcohol to be served. This is problematic since Jeff is seen tossing rice at them when they leave. If there was no alcohol, Jeff would have left the reception and been out looking for the closest bar. If the church did allow alcohol to be served, then Jeff would be passed out under a pew somewhere. So either way, his presence when they leave is a problem.

So the only conclusion we can come to is that the writers didn’t want to mess with a reception at all, so they hoped we’d forget by distracting us with the montage. Oooo, pretty! And it’d likely cost money to add an additional location shot anyway.

Last thing, I promise. The happy couple climbs into the limo and Chuck says, “To the airport, my good man.” Really? Not, “To the hotel, my good man”? I have a mental picture of the limo dropping them off curbside at LAX at the Southwest terminal with them still in their wedding garb. Are they flying out that night? Are they going to spend their wedding night in coach, first class even? Is Sarah going to change out of her wedding dress in the handicap stall in the ladies’ room? Do they change their clothes in the back of the limo as a callback to “Wookie”? I’m sure we all assume that they are staying in a hotel close to the airport that night (Maximus’s addendum: never assume with this show, never assume), but why not just write the line as, “To the hotel, my good man”? *Sigh.*

Don’t get me wrong. I loved the wedding. And the montage was a sweet recap of what our favorite couple had gone through to get to that point, and also a nice way to end the series had they not gotten a season 5.

I must go. The hive has recalled me. The MBO thinks my brain implant needs adjustment.