Here's what you missed or maybe you just forgot:
My name is Frea. I'm a writer and sometimes I blog, and sometimes I tweet (but only sometimes). I was kidnapped by quistie64, another writer and blogger and sometimes-tweeter, who is holding me for ransom. For charity, she says. She says that if we raise $2400 to help 10 kids find new smiles, she'll let me go. But I highly doubt that, since she didn't let me go at $480 or at $1500.
I trained her in her evil ways a little too well, I think.
Here's what's going on now: So you may or may not be aware of this, but I escaped this past weekend. For hours, I watched and waited, seeking any weak point in quistie64's defenses, diligently
It was on Day Five that I discovered it:
The doors lock from the inside. Where I am. On the inside.
I could lock quistie out! It was marvelous! Of course I hastened to do this immediately and spent the next twenty minutes hunched beside the door like Nosferatu, cackling over my genius. I mean, sure, Prisoners #2 and #3 wanted out about five minutes to go about their business, but I had finally outwitted the MOB-in-training! What a glorious day!
Two hours, fourteen minutes, and thirty-two seconds later, I realized something:
Kirk Cameron doesn't age.
Oh, right, and I had locked myself into the basement.
Yeah. So once I figured that out, it was pathetically easy to break free, steal one of quistie's precious Lotuses (what? She has one for each color of the rainbow, but they're all black, which is a little weird if you ask me). Then I made a break for the border and headed back to St. Louis by map, arriving in an astounding seventeen minutes. The other prisoners missed me, I know, but I had this to look forward to:
But thanks to a net-gun, an open field, and the fact that I refused to make the huge jump from The Fugitive, I'm back in the basement. It's clearly torture. TORTURE. Now please excuse me while I nom on this delicious chocolate muffin quistie made for me.
PS - All joking aside, thank you so, so, so, SO much to all of the wonderful people that have donated to our cause. You know that scene in How the Grinch Stole Christmas where his eyes turn blue and his heart grows three sizes? That's how I feel whenever I look at all of the wonderful money you guys have raised in order to help the needier this holiday season. You're beautiful. And you smell nice. Thank you.