Wep and Crystal: Glee Review - Hold On To Sixteen

Glee

Hold On To Sixteen

Season 3, Episode 08, Original air-date December 6, 2011

In an attempt to recruit a few more members, Finn tracks down former teammate Sam Evans (Chord Overstreet) and convinces him to come back to the glee club. Tina comes to the defense of Harry and encourages him to pursue his dream while McKinley prepares to host the big sectionals performance.

Hey, look who popped out of nowhere to give their take on a show that is equally out of nowhere (at least on Castle Inanity)! Crystal here, rising from the dead to give you guys a blog post on what the lovely Wep and I thought about tonight's Sectionals episode of Glee. (Actually, Frea's the one who noticed us going off on Twitter about it and asked if we'd like to channel our thoughts to CI. And everyone knows that no one can say no to Frea.) Fair warning, though...if you hold a large amount of love for this show, you may not find our ramblings amusing. For everyone else, though, enjoy our take on the chaos that has become Glee, right after the break!

Crystal: Ready to do this? Or should we sort of organize our thoughts first?

Wep: I say let's just go with it. Disorganized thoughts may fit best when talking about Glee.

Crystal: Whoo!

Wep: Okay, so the first thing that pops into my head when thinking about tonight's episode is the return of Trouty Mouth.

I was never a huge Sam fan, and the fact that he ever got to touch Santana makes me want to hurl.

‪Crystal: Haha

Oh my god, I totally forgot about that!

‪Wep: Plus, not for nothing, but what kind of lame male stripper wears gym shorts on stage?

‪Crystal: Probably the kind that would be given the name "White Chocolate."

I just...I don't even...

‪Wep: Heh, you probably make a good point.

‪Crystal: I know there are people out there who were probably drooling over his body, but yeah...not me.

I was mostly just laughing and shaking my head.

‪Wep: Though I do find it somewhat amusing that his stripper name could easily be changed to Fudge.

The fact that he comes back to help New Directions screw Trouble Tones out of the sectional title doesn't make me look on him any fonder.

‪Crystal: Honestly, they just needed a way to bring Chord Overstreet back onto the show. I read about it a while back, where he didn't renew his contract (because they didn't make him a regular and when they did it for Darren Criss?) so they booted him off.

Why he's back now, I'm not sure.

‪Wep: The highlight of the Sam return for me? Santana reading from her journal of thoughts she had prepared for just such an occasion.

‪Crystal: Oh, that was probably the best highlight of the entire episode for me.

And I love how Sam just took it in stride.

‪Wep: What could he say? She had him nailed.

And he knows better than to start ish with Santana. If he knows nothing else.

Is it just me, or does Sam's home look FAR too nice for his family to be struggling with money?

‪Crystal: That's another thing.

Finn said that "even the homeless have Facebook," and then we go over to Kentucky and Sam and his family are in what I'd like to think is a pretty decent-looking house...um, what?

Sam must really be making some big bucks at the DQ.

‪Wep: Yeah, apparently the homeless do quite well in Kentucky.

If I'm homeless, I'm heading for the Bluegrass State, pronto.

‪Crystal: I'd stay back home on Maui and bum on the beach.

‪Wep: Hah, well that would probably be preferable.

Speaking of Hawaii (okay, not really), what did you think of the whole Kurt/Blaine thing?

With the weird Warbler guy, whose name I won't even bother with learning.

‪Crystal: Ah, that dude. I think his name is Sebastian.

‪Wep: Ah, so he's the crab from Little Mermaid.

Random Factoid: The final scene from Little Mermaid was the first Disney animated scene to be computer animated.

We miss you, Steve.

‪Crystal: Really?

‪Wep: Made with computers bought from Pixar

This and other Pixar facts can be learned from reading Steve Jobs.

‪Crystal: I miss that guy.

But back to Glee!

‪Wep: Right?

Well that actually ties into my next point:

How is it that Steve Jobs is gone, yet the Kurt character continues to walk the Earth?

‪Crystal: Haha. I'm actually alright with Kurt...for the most part. I love his friendship with Rachel, and his relationship with Blaine is cool, too.

He gets on my nerves, but I can deal. And I gotta say, I did enjoy the smack talk between him and Sebastian while Blaine was gone, which I'm starting to think was really the only purpose of that entire scene.

‪Wep: I guess.

He's still a little too whiney for my taste.

But I guess when compared with Quinn, he's the model of accountability.

‪Crystal: Oh god.

Quinn.

‪Wep: Hah, yeah, I had to transition to her. I know you have major Quinn issues.

‪Crystal: The sad thing is, I really used to like her character. And I love Dianna Agron.

‪Wep: As did I. Season 1, I was a HUGE Quinn fan.

‪Crystal: But WHY, GLEE, WHY? WHY MUST YOU RUIN HER FOR ME?

I just...how has she not been diagnosed with bipolar disorder yet?

‪Wep: There was a time when she was the most well-rounded, and real character they had.

‪Crystal: *sigh*

‪Wep: Now she's pretty much every evil female character from every soap opera you've ever seen.

I almost expect her to try to steal Bo from Hope in next week's episode.

‪Crystal: I can understand where she's coming from, really, I can, but the way she handles these situations is just beyond ridiculous, even for a 17-year-old high school student.

‪Wep: Even more so for a 17-year-old high school student.

I knew some conniving people in high school, but I never saw someone just so purely evil.

‪Crystal: Honestly, Quinn is probably the biggest issue I had with the episode. Any sort of believability I had (which I admit, was very little to begin with) went straight down the drain by the end.

‪Wep: Yeah, especially with the way they just neatly tie off Quinn's evilness with "Oh look, she's nice now! She's inviting the TT girls back to New Directions."

Girl, you must be crazay.

‪Crystal: After how many episodes of acting like a crazy biyatch, she turned around and was like, "Oh, I'm not going to tell anymore! And by the way, I want to go to Yale! And Rachel, we're friends! And I've done all these wonderful things because I suddenly realize that there are only six months left of high school, despite everyone telling me that FOR THE LAST SEVEN EPISODES."

‪Wep: Hah! Yeah, that pretty much summarizes everything wrong with the Quinn situation.

But let's talk about something that wasn't wrong with tonight's episode: The Trouble Tones surviving.

‪Crystal: Hands down, that song was amazing.

I was surprised at how well the two meshed.

‪Wep: Granted, I'm no Destiny's Child fan, but I adored that performance.

I did wonder at the end of it. They entire mash-up is about surviving, yet they end it with a stage death.

But it was worth it to see the smile Santana and Brittany shared as they lied on the floor.

‪Crystal: Wait.

Was it Santana and Brittany?

Because I thought the other girl was that Sugar Motta or whatever.

‪Wep: I'm pretty sure it was.

Oh, was it? Hmm, I may have to go back and rewatch.

‪Crystal: Honestly, I don't care, because the biggest awesome high-five of that performance was the Brittango.

mxpw, they did that solely for you.

‪Wep: Hah, and for me.

There are some things Max and I don't agree on. Brittana being the anchor of the show is not one of them.

‪Crystal: Haha. Well, I think it's more like Brittana is the only reason he'll watch anymore.

Speaking of Brittana, Heather Morris was sorely lacking on Glee this week.

‪Wep: She was!

Was Brittany too busy handing out Pixie sticks now that she's officially the Prez?

‪Crystal: Right?

Other than her performances (both at Sectionals and at the end), she was basically nonexistent.

Although I'm sure Brittana fans everywhere were squeeing at the handholding. And the tango, of course.

Hand porn. And all the crazy tumblr Brittana fans die.

‪Wep: Yeah, that's not cool. There should be a 20 minute minimum screen time for both Heather and Naya.

Oh, the tango was amazing.

They're just... it's magical between those two. It's like S1-S2 Chuck/Sarah.

They're great as friends, but they have so much more going on, and it's because they're awesome at being friends.

‪Crystal: Exactly.

But hey, we should probably get back to the episode. This will probably end up being like, 15 pages long if we keep going on about our favorite duo/couple.

How did you feel about New Directions' performance?

‪Wep: I... it was okay. I liked it way better than the Unitards or whatever.

Oh, and as an aside...

What high school student would willingly be in a group with the phrasing "tards" anywhere in it?

‪Crystal: I have no idea where they came up with that name. TT and ND obviously have their origins, but...Unitards?

‪Wep: Yeah, that was kind of out-of-leftfield.

But once again, what else would one expect from Chuck, er, I mean Glee

‪Crystal: Haha. Speaking of, I really need to catch up on Chuck. I haven't watched anything past the first episode.

Winter Break marathon!

‪Wep: Heh, Nice.

Back to New Directions though.

‪Crystal: Ah, yes.

‪Wep: I think you pointed out on Twitter the most laughable moment of the night.

Would you care to reiterate that point?

‪Crystal: What, the fact that "Man In the Mirror" sounded like it had a choir of women when the only girls in the group are Tina and Quinn?

‪Wep: Hah, exactly!

‪Crystal: You know what, though?

‪Wep: What's that?

‪Crystal: On that note, I do want to point out what I did like about that Jackson medley, and it's that almost everyone had their chance to shine.

‪Wep: That I can agree with.

‪Crystal: I haven't heard a solo from Tina in what feels like (and could possibly be) years, and even Mike gets to step up his game.

‪Wep: Without Berry, they actually were a group.

A group that was inferior to the Trouble Tones, but that's really a different matter altogether.

‪Crystal: All of the powerhouses that usually dominate the stage were no longer there, which meant we got to see the background singers in action, which was great.

‪Wep: That was a nice treat.

‪Crystal: Honestly, and I know you agree with me, I think Troubletones deserved the trophy, but sadly, this is Glee.

‪Wep: Was I the only one frustrated at the length of ND's performance, when TT was a two song medley only?

‪Crystal: No, I know what you mean.

I was thinking the exact same thing while watching.

‪Wep: Yeah, it was odd. But like you said, this is Glee, and New Directions had to win.

‪Crystal: Not only that, but TT's version was a mashup. ND basically just did three songs back to back.

‪Wep: Exactly!

‪Crystal: Okay, a couple of more bits before we start wrapping this up.

Mike's story. What'd you think about that?

‪Wep: Eh, listen...

I think it's a good story.

At least one of the more real stories this season.

But they rush through it so much, it's hard to get invested in his plight.

They have to spend all this time with Quinn going through 8 stages of crazy, and Kurt and Sebastian having a verbal war, and we're cheated out of real emotional issues, like parental pressures, in Mike's case.

And it's another issue that's only there when they want it to be.

This thing with Mike's dad goes back several episodes, yet when they didn't want to talk about it, Mike was magically there, and completely focused on the group.

In some ways, it's the rub of an ensemble cast, but in others, it's just lazy writing.

‪Crystal: Agreed. That's the biggest problem with an ensemble cast, and really, the Mike story was in my eyes the best writing of the season so far. I'm not going to lie, I cried during the last episode, with the scene between Mike and his mom.

This happened. And then I was a tear-stained wreck.

‪Wep: Yeah, that was very sweet.

Like I said, I think it's a great story. The only downfall for me is that it doesn't get enough time, and that it wasn't always evident that Mike had issues at home.

‪Crystal: Yeah…because they brushed it under the rug for a couple of episodes, then suddenly brought it back and shoved it onto us again only to resolve it in the span of a single episode, I just...didn't find it as believable anymore.

‪Wep: Right!

That's exactly my point. It was a REAL issue. Something that should have been evident all along. Given time, and proper focus, it may have even rivaled Santana/Brittany for my favorite part of the show.

‪Crystal: Mike's dad's speech seemed a little too forced, too.

After everything he had said to Mike and Tina, for him to suddenly get this "epiphany" felt strange to me.

I mean, I can understand that he felt this way after watching the performance, but for him to deliver that speech in the way he did...

I was expecting a little more of a hesitant, apologetic tone at not understanding his son's dreams at first, and then the enthusiastic support. 

‪Wep: Yeah, it was forced, it was rushed, and it was just making a problem go away so quickly so that the writers can focus on other things that aren't nearly as real and interesting, which is disappointing.

‪Crystal: Exactly.

And herein lies the problem with the entire episode, and possibly the entire season thus far:

Everything—everything—was wrapped up within this single episode.

It's almost as if the entire first half of the season didn't even have to happen.

‪Wep: Hah. You know, we have a phrase for this where I'm from, back down South.

It's trying to cram 10 pounds of crap into a 5 pound bag.

Sam would know this phrase, form his "homeless" days in Kentucky.

‪Crystal: Nice.

In the end, you've just got a bunch of leftover crap to clean up?

‪Wep: Exactly! :)

‪Crystal: Whoo, I got it!

‪Wep: So shall we put a wrap on the night's episode?

‪Crystal: Yes, we shall.

So here we are, eight episodes into the season: New Directions is back together, Sam's back with the crew, Puck and Shelby are over, Quinn's back to being not-so-psycho (we hope). Everyone important is off to Regionals.

All wrapped up with a nice little bow, right in time for Christmas!

Final thoughts, my dear Wep?

‪Wep: We still have the reign of President Brittany to look forward to in the New Year, which is good. Santana as First Lady is something I really look forward to seeing.

I'm sure the Holiday episode will be interesting.

And I'm happy this Quinn saga is finally behind us.

There's plenty to be unhappy about, but at the end of the day, I think we have to look at it like you look at your own high school days. A lot of it sucked, some of it was fun, but it's all in the rearview, and it's time to move on to new adventure. New Directions, if you will.

‪Crystal: A lovely way to look at it.

You've basically summed up everything I wanted to say, too.

‪Wep: Nice!

‪Crystal: How convenient! I thank you.

‪Wep: Hah, you're very welcome.

How would you rate tonight's episode?

‪Crystal: Hm...it's hard to say.

If I were to base it on the standards of my Gleek days, I'd probably rate it fairly low.

But with Glee as it is now, you sort of have to just take what you can get. So with that in mind, I'd probably give it a 6.5/10.

I loved the final number, so that gives the episode the extra half point.

‪Wep: And I will give it an even 3 White Chocolate Hip Thrusts out of 5.

‪Crystal: Oh, I like that. White Chocolate Hip Thrusts!

You're so snazzy.

‪Wep: Heh, I do what I can for the fans.

‪Crystal: Speaking of fans, what did y'all think?

How many White Chocolate Hip Thrusts would YOU rate this episode?