Yellow Paper Snippet

Today saw a massive overhaul of The Masterfully Decorated Evil Lair of One Frea O'Scanlin, which usually turns up interesting artifacts (case in point: favorite hat!  second case in point: shrunken head of enemy from second grade) and today was no exception.  For indeed, I found a piece of yellow legal paper that seems to contain the original draft of part of Chapter 14: At the End of the Day.

Because I'm nice (and have nothing else to post today), I'll share it here (warning, some swearing!):

"I spent three days listening to washed out spies and old men go over my record piece by piece in a closed courtroom." Sarah whirled mid-step and stalked the other way. It wasn't quite pacing: it was far too predatory for so tame a term. "Has-beens in boring suits going over my feats and weighing every action I've ever done by bureaucracy. As if they would ever know better. And in the end, after I passed every kind of lie detector test under the damned sun, they let me off. And not because I was innocent, no. But because Director Graham stepped in."

It occurred to Chuck that he'd seen Sarah furious several times. In fact, it had been one of her default settings since they'd all come to Burbank. She'd tried to slaughter Frank, had thrown a knife at Casey's head, had scolded him after the second hospital visit.

But none of that was this kinetic, this...woman on fire, Chuck decided. Sarah's movements were always selective, contained, each adjustment weighed and considered for maximum effect. This wasn't the case now. Spastic, he'd have said. Erratic. Likely to explode. Every muscle remained tensed as she stormed back and forth.

"So ask me again if I'm protecting Bryce." She rounded on him abruptly. "Bryce, who left me to deal with all of this bullshit by myself?"
That's a very, very rough draft. I can see four points where I would cut or expand, for example, but hey, it's fun, and like I said, nothing else to post today.  Oh, right, if you're bored tonight, you can always join happydayz3 from ChuckTV.net in a rewatch of Anniversary and Suitcase!




  1. I'm looking at chapter 14 now, trying to see where this was originally going to be. :D

    I miss me some Fates. Thanks for the rough draft snippet thingie!

  2. Anonymous7.12.10

    thanks for the snippet. it's fun to read a riled up sarah walker, even if it didn't make it into the final draft.

  3. This is like getting to see a first draft of Hamlet!


  4. Anonymous7.12.10

    negative 45% ?!


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